Proclamation of Independence of babies

When our baby was offended when he was afraid, when he gets dirty, even if it is difficult, we must learn to release.

8 ways to help parents give toddlers the independence they need it


Quiet. Children are already in bed and have time for introspection on the day that was. I'm trying to figure out where I was right, did wrong and what I could learn. Three years of motherhood certain moments I realized my kids are trying to push the limits, but at other times, I have to release and give them their independence. I try to achieve this, certain things I can more, others - less.

I made a list of eight things that I think needs to be done to give the child his independence. Honestly I could tell that all of them, but at least I continue to try because I believe that it will give my children the confidence needed for life, or as I read recently, "everything the child needs, this adult believes in Him" (Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach).


1. let them fall (although it's hard for me)



Children fall, and a lot. Every mother knows it, and sometimes we even knew in advance that this was going to happen. The first time that the kid tripped and fell to the ground, plus the theatrical cry, I picked it up at top speed and I tried to insult a big hug. I have since learned an important stage in the development of this study fall (and get up), at least in some cases, I was near them to save them, but not in a hurry to come and catch them on the way.

2. getting dirty (because everything goes down in water)



I still remember the first time I came back with the girl from the kindergarten. She was full of sand, and I just wanted to put it straight into the shower. In other situations, I would take her to an amusement park and makes sure to put it on a sheet or clear away the leaves and sand. After a few months I realized that children need to feel - feel the sand and grass, feel the earth, and for that we need to learn to see them dirty and remember one shower will return them clean (besides - their incredible smell remains in any situation).

3. try new things (even if I do not like them) and deal with fears



Although there are quite a few things I'm afraid of them, such as heights or get close to dark places, close to the kids I try to business as usual and not to show my fear, to allow them to really experience all things. Or more correctly, they decide alone what scares them and what is not.

4. Eat alone (even if the ground will eat half of the food)



Disclosure - took me a while to realize how important it is to release the amounts necessary to control and clean when my child eats, and he needs to experience the messy step to develop healthy eating habits. Babies are born with a a healthy mechanism of hunger and satiety, and it is important that we parents do not spoil it and let them eat what and how much they want from a variety of foods that we offer them.

Important to encourage independent eating, of course, depending on the developmental stage of the baby. For example, let him hold the bottle at the age of 5-6 months to eat or drink from it (still not fully release and watch him closely, of course). Or give him a "finger foods" at the age of 8-9 months to eat by himself and allow him to "feed" himself instead of feeding him by a spoon.

It is important to remember that babies begin to eat solid food and get dirty important to allow them to do so. This way to feel the food tastes and new textures so intriguing to them. Food enjoyment involves all the senses and to allow them a fun and teach them healthy eating habits and eating an independent ability, they should experience the food stage litterbug While it ends up in the mouth, but also comes the hair, the clothes and the floor.

5. be offended (from friends, from family)



I often find myself insulted for my children - whether friend said something insulting, or if a family member referred to one of the children than the other. In other situations it was difficult for me to see my daughter waiting to get something she wants, when some of those that did not notice to her so she stands and waits. I realized that I could not protect them forever and I have to let them deal with a the situation alone. It's an important part of their preparation for real life and what still awaits them in the future.

6. fail to do things (and let them deal with it)



"Mom, I can't! "- If only I had a dime every time I hear this sentence. My first instinct is to run and help, but I learned to hold back even if it means that everything will take more time, I really try to give them cope all alone or at most in finding tools to succeed. The way I learned to be a better person when the extinction of judicial sentences wording
Statements like "I knew you did not succeed" or "I told you this would end by .." are not promoting and certainly not encourage repeat experience.

7. Leave the child with a relative (and not calling every five minutes)



Today I've excels in this section and understand that this is an important key, also the independence of the parents and the child's independence. Although not easy to keep the little treasure in the hands of someone else, but I make sure to keep them in advance only by those who I feel confident enough to release a few hours, and I'm always preparing them for what was to happen, such as with whom they stay, what is planned for them at this time and what is permitted boundaries (eg at what time they should go to sleep) and of course when we are supposed to return, because uncertainty creates a sense of security.

  8. Nnot giving me a kiss (even when I really want one!)



Many times I am sending my daughter to preschool, and I would like to kiss her and she answers unequivocally - "No!". In this situation, I keep to myself the speech of the "nine months I carried you ..." and I prefer to tell her, "Fine, your decision". Besides, the kiss will come later (when she decides alone give it to me), would be much more sweet.


Have a great sunny day :)
Keren-Or